Situations HAITUS
by WhippedTopping
Summary: Katy Galloway goes Vegas with the boys to celebrate Doug's marriage. When he goes missing will she break and finally give into her feelings for Phil, or will he be the first to crack? PhilxOC HAITUS
1. Here We Go

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my own character! :)**

* * *

"Hello?" The voice on the other line of the phone was female. It sounded desperate, rushed, and frustrated. It was more of a 'what the fuck's going on? hello' than a regular one. The rough male voice on the other end coughed.

"Tracy, its Phil," the man answered almost casually.

"Phil. Where the _hell_ are you guys? I'm _freaking out_," the woman replied frantically. He sighed lightly before continuing.

"Yeah, listen…" He sniffed. "Uh…" He sighed again, more harshly, his voice changing to a more worried, distressed tone. "We fucked up."

"What are you talking about?" She kept her voice low and tried to sound calm, but her anger and confusion shined through clearly.

"The bachelor party; the whole night." He sighed again. "Things got out of control and, uh…" he paused and tried to think of a more delicate way to put this. "We lost Doug."

"What." It was more of a demand than a question.

"We can't find Doug," He sounded defeated.

"What are you saying Phil?" She growled. "We're getting married in _five hours!_" Her anger was rising and the edge in her voice was growing.

"Yeah…" He nodded lightly. "That's not gonna happen."

* * *

You confused? I bet. Hold your horses! I'll go back to the beginning in a minute. My name is Katy Galloway. I work down at the Pep Boys auto repair shop. Shut up, I know it's not the _best _job in the world, but I surprisingly make my fair share of money. At least I'm not a school teacher. Ha. Anyway, I've been friends with Tracy since elementary school. When I met Doug I knew he was the perfect match for her. How we became friends you ask?

One day his car needed tune ups and a break check. Tracy recommended me and I fixed up his car nice. I _do _know my way around a vehicle. He also recommended me to a couple people and boosted my job credentials.

Along the way I met Stu and Phil. Stu now happens to my dentist now! As for Phil… I had always thought that Phil was "attractive" from the beginning, but he was such a player so stayed away from that field. He was also married and had a kid so I backed off more. After I while my feelings left and the only thing I felt for him was a friendship.

Now that Tracy and Doug are getting married we all decided to go to Vegas! I was unsure if I should go, but Tracy insisted. Also Phil's wife filed for divorce and got it done quickly. I relaxed more and finally felt like I could joke around with him, but I still stay alert just in case. The trip came faster than I thought.

This all began about three days ago…

* * *

I just got done doing a standard tune up on an ancient orange Jeep CJ7 when I heard an additional car pull up behind me.

"Kat! Time to go!" I twisted around, frustrated, ready to snap at Phil. I stopped dead with my mouth hung open and eyes wide when I turned around. I forgot what witty comment I was about to make and hurried over.

"Jesus tap-dancing _Christmas_! _Nice fucking car_!" I practically died when I laid eyes upon that silver 1969 Mercedes-Benz Cabriolet! I was circling it, taking it all in. An exasperated sigh escaped the lips of tan school teacher.

"Just fuckin' hurry up. We gotta pick up Stu." I waved him away and pranced over to my boss' office, a wide grin smacked upon my features.

"Frank? I'm leavin for Vegas now." He nodded as I took off my greasy gloves and threw them on a random counter.

"Alright." He glanced up. "Bye, Katy. See you in a couple days." He smiled, his old features softening. "Have fun!" He called when I was almost out the door.

"Won't have to worry about that!" I called back and raced over to the car. I placed my hands on the edge and hopped over it, landing on Phil's lap. He grunted loudly in pain. I laughed and looked at Doug. "These seats are really comfortable too!" He laughed at Phil's pained expression. "Oh, yeah! Doug! Would you mind dropping me off at a friend's house when we get to Vegas? She's out of town and I've gotta take care of her dogs. Also, my stuff is there. I'll catch up with you guys later; just tell me what room you'll be in."

"You've got it." Doug said and started the car.

I moved to the other side of the car, off of Phil, and glanced at the bearded man in the passenger side. "How's it goin Alan?" I smiled, putting my feet on Phil's lap now, noting how he flinched.

"Oh, it's goin, alright!" He claimed, trying to sound cool. I laughed as we drove away to pick up Stu.

* * *

We pulled up in front of Stu's house and waited for a minute.

"So…Anyone gonna go up there and ring the door bell?" I inquired quietly. Phil heaved a long sigh.

"Do I have to do _everything_ around here?" In my mind I half expected him to stroll up and ring the doorbell, but obviously that was too much to ask for, knowing him. He placed his hands around his mouth. "Paging Dr. Faggot! …Dr. Faggot!" He called from the car. Stu rushed out with his rolly suitcase and put it in the trunk. He greeted us all and scooted me into the middle between him and Phil. I must say, it was pretty uncomfortable. He nodded and we drove off.

We were driving down the freeway, heading to Sin City when Alan stood up in the car.

"WOOOO! Road trip!" He turned to the side, smacking the side of the car repeatedly. "Heeyy!" He pointed to a car with a little blonde girl in it. "Vegasss! Vegas, baby! Woo-hahah! Gett'er done!" He shouted waving and pointing to her. She flipped him off and he sat back down, obviously offended. All three of us in the back laughed as they drove away. Phil suddenly piped up.

"Come on, just until Barstow. Everybody's pass'n us!" He said to Doug who was driving the speed limit for some unknown reason. Who drives to Vegas legally?

"Absolutely not. I promised Sid: I will be the only one driving this car." He paused. "Sides' you're drinking." Doug said, sucking the fun out of the moment.

"Oh, what are you a cop now?" Phil asked in disbelief, leaning back and putting his arm around my shoulders. "C'mon you know I drive great when I'm drunk," Phil pleaded.

"That's true, don't forget, Phil was always our designated drunk driver." Stu butted in.

"Pssh, unless he was too tanked to move. Then _I_ had to haul his sorry ass home." I remarked looking at him. He gave me a look.

Doug laughed lightly. "You wanna explain it to em' Alan?" He questioned looking his way. Alan turned around.

"Guys, my dad loves this car more than he loves me, so yeah." He explained.

"Well, it _is_ a nice car," I said looking it over. Alan's face looked like a puppy's who just got kicked. "But it's nothing compared to you, Alan!" I quickly covered. He brightened instantly.

"Oh, whatever. Look, I left my wife and kid at home so I could go with you guys to Vegas; you know how difficult that was?" Phil asked leaning forward a bit.

"Bullshit." I coughed. Phil shot a glare my way.

"That's really sweet, Phil." Alan said, feeling heart-warmed.

"Yeah." Doug laughed, knowing he was lying.

"Dude, I was being sarcastic. I just got a fucking divorce and she won't let me see my kid. I fucking hate my life. I may never go back!" He voiced turning to Stu and I. "I might just stay in Vegas." He turned back to Alan.

"Here we go." Doug sighed.

"Ya know what Doug? You should enjoy yourself, cuz come Sunday, you're gonna start dyin. _Just a little bit_." He held up his hand in a pinch form to represent 'little'. "_Everyday_."

"Yeah!" Alan laughed. "That's why I managed to stay single this whole time, ya know?"

"Oh, really?" Stu asked. "That's why you're single?"

"Yeah," Alan nodded.

"Cool." He nodded. "Good ta know." I laughed silently.

"Am I alright over there Alan?" Doug asked.

"Yeah, you're good." He replied, not even looking over. Doug began to turn when a huge Truck came up behind us and honked. Startled, he swerved back with a string of comments coming from all of us. Phil's arm tightened around my shoulders and that when I really noticed that it was there.

"Hahah! That was _awesome!_" Alan yelled excitedly, laughing like a manic.

"_No, that was NOT awesome!_ What is _wrong_ with you!" Doug yelled angrily, keeping his eyes on the road.

"That was insane! We almost just died!" Stu yelled over the noise.

"You should've seen your face! Ha! Classic!" Alan laughed again.

"Ha-ha!" I put my hand over my heart, feeling how hard it was beating.

"Hahaa, that's funny, man!" Phil laughed leaning back and squeezing my shoulder.

"That was not funny." Doug said angrily.

We arrived at a gas station. Doug, Stu, Phil and I were all inside while Alan leaned up against the car, reading a gambling book. We all, save for Stu, watched Alan drive an old man away from the car with his rude comments.

"He's actually kinda funny." Phil commented, eating out of a Lay's chip bag, watching Alan from the window in the gas station store. We were in line to pay for our items.

"Yeah, he means well." Doug agreed.

"Is he all there? Like mennaly?" Phil asked saying the work 'mentally' wrong. He gestured by moving his hand in circles by the side of his head.

"I think so. He's just an odd guy. Kinda weird." Doug replied. I snorted.

"Odd? He almost killed us." I laughed, smiling. Doug shot a look my way.

Phil took note of my comment and asked, "I mean should we be worried?" He inquired.

"No," Doug reassured. "No."

"I suppose you're right…" I said, still watching Alan.

"I am right." He said. "Tracy _did_ mention that we shouldn't let him gamble…or drink too much." The woman in front of us left with her food and we moved forward.

"Jesus, he's like a Gremlin, with all these instructions and shit," Phil said with a mouthful of chips.

"I love that movie!" I commented. Doug laughed a bit.

"And one water." Stu intruded, placing his water on the counter. Doug folded his arms and turned to Stu.

"All good with Melissa?" He asked casually.

"Ohh, yeah. Told her we're two hours out of wine country…" He held up his cell phone for a second. "And she bought it," he explained, somewhat pleased. Phil hung his head, but quickly looked back up at Stu and leant up against the counter.

"Don't you think it's weird that you've been in a relationship for three years and you still have to lie about going to Vegas?" He asked.

"Yeah, I do," Stu replied "But trust me: it is not worth the fight." He laughed.

"Oh! So," Phil stood upright and fixed him with an odd look. "You can't go to Vegas, but she can _fuck _a bellhop on a carnival cruise line?" The cashier lady gave us a funny look as I snickered. Stu looked down angrily, then looked up and began to clarify.

"Okay. First of all: It was _bartender_ and she was _wasted_. Annnnd if you _must _know, he didn't even cum inside her." Phil raised his eyebrows at Stu.

"And you believe that?" He turned back to the cashier smiling and laughing slightly.

"Uh, yeah, I _do _believe that, cuz she's grossed out by semen!" Stu argued frustrated. Phil opened his mouth, about to speak, but quickly closed it.

"Ha, looks like _you're_ not getting any kids!" I laughed, receiving a disapproving look from Doug.

"That'll be $32.50." The woman said. Phil moved off the counter and looked at Stu.

"It's $32.50, ya gotta pay for it," he said as Stu reached into his pockets.

We were once again on the freeway. I watched the cars go by as Doug drove, Phil drank, Stu thought, and Alan read. Alan looked up and glanced at us.

"It says we should work in teams." Doug looked at him for a second. "Who wants to be my spotter?"

"I don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight Alan," He said, trying to fulfill his wife's wishes.

"Gambling? Who said anything about gambling?" Alan asked. "It's not gambling if you know you're gonna win. Counting cards is a _foolproof_ system."

"It's also illegal," Stu tilted his head slightly while answering.

"It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon, like…" Alan paused to think. "…masturbating on an airplane." Doug laughed at his comment.

"I'm pretty sure that illegal too," Phil piped up.

"Yeah, maybe after 9/11 where everybody gets so sensitive," We all gave him an awkward look. "Thanks a lot Bin Laden." Stu shook his head and touched his forehead.

"Either way… You gotta be _super smart _to count cards, buddy, okay?" Doug tried to reason with him.

"Oh really? Okay, well, maybe we should tell that to Rain Man who practically bankrupt a casino and he was a rutard."

"What?" Stu asked.

"He was a what?" I questioned.

"He was a rutard." Alan answered.

"_Re_tard." Doug corrected, laughing as we drove on.

* * *

**AN: The first chapter! :) Hope you liked it! Reveiw please! :) I'll love you foreverrrr!**


	2. Should Have Gone Left

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my own character! :)**

After hours of driving, we finally arrived in Vegas and Doug dropped me off at my friend's house. While I was getting ready I got a text from Doug.

'_we're in room 2452.'_

I texted back: _'Ooo, bad luck, man! Haha, all those numbers put together is 13!:D'_

His reply was _'you really believe in that? Ha, what could possibly go wrong?'_

I sent: _'Yup and a lot! Haha, well, I'll see you guys in a bit! :) Thanks!' _

'_No problem, seeya then'_ I closed my phone and began to get ready. I took a shower and straightened my dark brown hair. I wore a strapless white knee-length dress with a black sash around the waist. For shoes I wore nice black pumps. I packed up a small bag of clothes for the hotel room and got a taxi over to Caesars Palace. After a couple verifications I entered the enormous villa.

"Jesus Christ…" I breathed looking at the décor. I threw my bag down by the door and walked into the gigantic main room. I looked left and right and no one was here. "Four rooms…" I debated on whether I should enter one or not. I chose one on the right. I entered and looked to my left. I squeaked and quickly turned around and faced the wall, my hands covering my face. "!" I heard a laugh a little ways behind me. "I'm so sorry Phil!" I kept apologizing. I had walked in while he was getting out of the shower. He was in towel though.

"Yeah, yeah," he laughed again. "It's fine." I heard various noises behind me like shuffling and zipping.

"No, it's not!" I insisted, "I-I should've knocked!" I began to stutter. _Fuuuck._

"Listen," I heard his voice come closer. I felt him grasp my shoulders and turn me around. Thank God he was wearing pants, but he was still shirtless. "Its fine," he said smiling, "Just calm down. I'm not mad," he grinned.

"Hey, Phil?" a voice intruded. Doug walked in fixing his sleeves. He looked up. "Uhmm… Am I interrupting?" Doug looked confused and slightly frightened. Phil quickly removed his hands and turned to Doug.

"No," he defended, holding up his hands. "She just got here and I was talking to her. That's all." Doug looked skeptical. "Seriously, man?" Phil began, "If I did something with someone I wouldn't deny it, you know that. And If you walked in," He laughed "you _know_ I wouldn't stop." Doug shook his head and sighed.

"Yeah, I know. And that kinda scares me." He turned, about to walk out. "Well, put a shirt on and get out here." He left.

"Uhmmm…" I looked down awkwardly "I'll get going…" I pointed to the door and scrambled out.

After a couple minutes Phil, now fully clothed, Doug and I walked into Stu's room. He was on the phone with Melissa. Phil walked in and held up his arms in question, looking at Stu, because he was only in his underwear. He returned the gesture. I sat down on the foot of the bed.

"Uh, what else?" He said into the receiver. "Uhmm, We met the, uh, proprietor." Annoyed, Phil flopped down on the bed and turned on the TV, slightly kicking me in the process. "What's his name? Uhm, Caesar. Palache. Yeah, like the salad." He repeated the gesture when Phil pointed to his watch. Doug took a seat in one of the chairs. "Okay, well, listen, I gotta go cuz we're gonna hit this wine tasting- Oh-okay. Wh-wh-wait! I love you! Okay, Byeeee!" He ended the call.

"I'm not even gonna say anything, it's so embarrassing." Phil muttered.

"Where's Alan?" Stu asked whilst adjusting his watch.

"He, uh, he went downstairs. Said he had to _grab_ a few things," Doug replied.

"Good." Stu began doing awkward little flexing motions. "Because I have something to show you!" He excitedly turned around a picked up a small box. He opened it to reveal a ring. He held it out for us to see. I stood.

"Uh-oh." Doug began, reaching out to grab it. Phil's face looked astonished.

"What the hell is that?" he asked, pointing.

"What do you think it is?" Stu shot back.

"Well, if it's what I think it is, it's a big fucking mistake!" Phil exclaimed looking back and fourth from Doug and Stu.

"I'm gonna propose to Melissa at your wedding," he said to Doug. "After the ceremony." He clarified, waving his hand.

"Stuwwie, congratulation!" Doug said enthusiastically as Phil dropped the remote and threw up his hands in defeat.

"Thank you Doug!"

"That's a beautiful ring," Doug said examining it.

"Yeah, It's my grandmother's. She made it all the way through the Holocaust with that thing," Stu replied, pulling his pants on "That thing is _legit._"

"I don't get it- wait, have you not listened to anything I've _ever _said?" Phil asked incredulously, leaning back. Doug handed the ring to me. It was a very pretty ring.

"Phil. We've been dating for _three years_. It's time! This is how it works," Stu tried to reason.

"A: that is bullshit and B: she is a complete bitch!" Phil waved his arms around, trying to make a point.

"Hey!" Doug smacked his foot. "That's his _fiancée_," Doug scolded. Phil stood abruptly.

"Its true! _Its true! _You _know_ its true! She beats him!" Phil declared.

"That was twice and I was out of line!" He tried to rationalize.

"And you have three scars from her!" I pointed out raising my hands in the air.

"Shes strong willed. And I respect that," Stu pathetically defended his devil of a girlfriend.

"Wow._ Wow._ He's in denial. Not to mention; she fucked a sailor!" Phil turned to Doug.

"Hey, he wasn't a sailor. He was a bartender on a cruise ship! You know that," Doug replied.

"Guys," Stu began, stopping spraying deodorant. "Just-I'm standing right here so I can hear everything you're saying?" I sighed.

"You _are_ in denial," I pointed out.

"Hey guys," we all turned around and looked at Alan, who was standing awkwardly, holding a grocery bag.


	3. Let's Make a Toast

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my own character! :)**

* * *

After our little "marriage" talk with Stu, the five of us headed out of the massive hotel room and down to the elevator. Phil, leading our group, rubbed his hands together in anticipation. He punched the button, grinning in the process.

"Look at that!" he said quietly, but happily. As we all took our on spots in front of the machine, Alan walked in, being last in our group, and put one fist on his hip. He shook his head to fix his hair and stood in place, looking up proudly. Phil looked him up and down, and I laughed at the thought of Phil checking Alan out. Stu sent me a peculiar look.

"You're not really wear'n that, are you?" Phil asked incredulously. Alan turned his eyes to the taller man.

"Wear'n what?" he questioned.

"The man-purse." He pointed to it as if it wasn't obvious, "You actually gonna wear that or are you guys just fuck'n with me?" Phil laughed. Doug, Stu, and I just glanced at him.

"It's where I keep all my things," Alan began, "I get a lot of compliments on this." Bullshit. "Plus it's not a man-purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one," he declared, resuming his pose. Phil rolled his eyes and turned back to him.

"So does Joy Behar," he retorted. I sent him a small glare. Jesus, does he have to pitch a fit about _everything?_

"Ya know what Alan?" I began, "'I think it looks nice on you!" I smiled. "And I have no where to put my phone, so will you hold onto it?" I asked sweetly.

"Of course!" Alan smiled proudly. Phil opened his mouth to make another rude comment, but stopped when he saw me reach into my dress and pull my phone out of my strapless bra. He just gawked with his mouth open as I checked the time and handed it to Alan to put in his bag.

The elevator doors slid open and man with a short afro pulled his head away from his girlfriend's crotch, cracking his neck and telling us that they were going up. "Yeah, that's perfect," Phil stated while ushering us in, obviously recovered from his previous daze.

* * *

"I'm just saying: it's _clearly_ marked, okay? We are _defiantly not _supposed to be up here!" Stu tried to rationalize as Phil sauntered out of the door leading to the roof.

"Aw, c'mon Stu! We're paying for a _villa._ I mean, we can do whatever the fuck we want," Phil claimed.

"Yeah, but-"

"Just wedge the door open," Phil interrupted. He turned and smiled, looking up, whilst grabbing a hold of a bar on the ladder. "Guys, c'mon up here," he motioned for us to follow. Stu still looked worried. I patted him on the shoulder.

"Loosen up, man," I laughed. He playfully glared at me. "Everything will be fine," I smiled, reassuringly and gestured for him to climb the ladder.

Once all of us enter the roof, we all shared our comments of the view and such.

"Alan, how we doin, buddy?" Phil asked.

"Good," he replied dancing over with glasses and a bottle.

"Uh-ohh. Litter jagermeister. Good idea!"

"Good call."

"On the roof!"

"Jesus, Alan," I murmured. Phil handed each of us our glasses and Alan poured our drinks. Stu made a small speech about Doug getting married and we all downed our shot.

"Ohhh, it's like college!" Doug claimed after all of our disgusted noises.

"Ugghh!" I shivered in repulsion. Phil wrapped and arm around me, thinking I was cold. "Why does jager _always_ taste like black licorice?" I whined, "I hate black licorice!"

"Alright, I wanna talk about something." Phil piped up.

"I'd like ta…" Alan cut him off. "I'd like to say something… that I've prepared…" He handed his glass to Phil and opened his bag, pulling out a piece of paper.

"Alright Alan," Doug said.

"Hello," he began awkwardly. "How bout' that ride in? I guess that's why they call it sin city. Ha-ha," he faked a laugh. "You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack… But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack... it grew by one. So there... there were two of us in the wolf pack... I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys and one girl to my wolf pack. Five of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine! So tonight, I make a toast!" He pulled out a pocket knife and flipped it open. He proceeded to slice open his palm, despite the shocked and scared comments from all of us.

"What is that?" Stu exclaimed.

"Blood brothers," Alan said determinedly.

"Alan, no!" Doug stated firmly.

"I'm not doing that!" Stu said, freaking out slightly. "Make him stop!"

"Alan, we're not gonna cut ourselves," Doug said. "Hand me the knife slowly. Thank you." Doug put the knife on the edge of the roof and walked back over.

"Are you alright? Are you okay?" Phil asked Alan.

Alan nodded, sucking on his cut. "I'm fine."

"You sure?" I asked in concern. "Need a doctor?" He shook his head.

"Alright, Alan, come in here buddy," Phil said.

"Get in here, crazy," Stu muttered.

"Alright, to a night the four of us will never forget," Phil toasted, grinning.

* * *

**AN: Third chapter! Woow! :) Thanks to everyone who favorited, alerted, and reveiwed! I love you all! Sorry for it being kinda short :/**


	4. Bathtubs and Roofies

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my own character! :)**

* * *

Ughh. God, I have a _fucking awful_ headache! What the fuck happened…? When I tried to move I felt strange…Like I'm slimy and wet. Ew. But the feeling is all over my body, except my head…

"Kat!" Someone is calling my name. They sound far away. I now became aware of someone touching my shoulder. They were shaking me slightly. My eyes began to flutter open. I took in my surroundings. I saw a _lot _of bubbles. And a blow-up doll. And an inflatable pig? "Kat!" I snapped out of my daze and quickly stood, facing the person talking to me. I got a head rush and almost fell, but regained balance. I heard water splashing. I rubbed my eyes. My hands were wet. My vision focused and I saw Phil, but he wasn't looking at my face. His eyes were wide and his mouth was open slightly. I looked down and saw that I was naked in a bathtub. Heat quickly rose to my cheeks and I hurriedly sat back down in the water, covering myself up. I glared up at him; I saw his cheeks were flushed too. He looked tired and he was wearing his wrinkly blue dress shirt, unbuttoned.

"What the _fuck_, Phil!" I yelled, embarrassed. "Get out, you pervert!" He quickly turned around, trying to steady his breathing. He walked a couple steps and threw me a white towel that was on the counter.

"You need to get dressed, we have to go," I looked at him kind of surprised. I stood and wrapped the towel around my body. I stepped out of the bath he tried to peek at me.

"My clothes are in the bag out there… Can you get them for me?" I asked timidly. He left without another word. I sighed and tried to figure out why I was naked. Or in a bath. Or why the bathroom was a complete wreck! When he walked back in, he seemed like the old cocky Phil Wenneck. I wonder what happened. He dropped the bag in front of me.

"Jesus Christ! What do you carry in that thing?" Phil asked surprised.

"Everything I need." I stuck my tongue out at him. "Now turn around or leave." With a sigh, he turned. I turned also and began drying my hair. I dried off the rest of my body and unzipped my bag. I pulled out my purple bra and underwear. I put them on and dug through my bag. I found a green t-shirt with a little heart shaped leaf in the corner.

"Why do I have this?" I whispered, confused. I pulled it on and tugged on a pair of my blue jeans. I turned back around to see Phil facing me. "What the- Bitch! You were watching the whole time! I can tell by that smirk!" I shouted at him, hitting him on the chest with my fists. He just kept smirking and grabbed my wrist. I continued to glare up at him. And he just continued smirking.

"You have no fucking idea how much I want to wipe that smirk off your face right now."

"Do it."

"Phil!" Stu called,"Hurry up!" Phil let go of me.

"Yeah, hold on!" He called back.

I took this opportunity to "wipe the smirk off his face". I grabbed the blow up doll and chucked it at him. He looked so astonished and almost fell over. I laughed and snatched my lace-up Vans. I bolted out of the room with him on my tail. Once I got out of the room I stopped dead in my tracks, making Phil stop and slide before almost running into the couch.

"My god…" I breathed. "What the fuck happened?" my voice was just above a whisper. The room was destroyed! The TVs were broken, the couch was steaming, cups and bottles were everywhere, and I'm pretty sure I heard a chicken! I looked at Stu and Alan. Stu was icing his face and Alan had a baby, which confused me more. "What the _fuck_ happened?" I repeated, louder.

"Yeah," Alan laughed "And there's a Tiger in the bathroom!"

* * *

The four of us were now in the elevator. They had informed me that they couldn't find Doug and I almost flipped. Tracy was gonna KILL me! And what if he's hurt! Phil said he might be at the pool, so we were headed down there to look for him.

"Why can't we remember a goddamn thing from last night?" Stu questioned whilst leaning against the wall, holding ice to his cheek.

"Because, we obviously had a great fucking time," Phil countered "Why don't you just stop worrying for one minute and be proud of yourself?" He shrugged.

"I don't know Phil, maybe its cuz I'm missing a tooth!" Stu claimed sounding like an ass. "Or maybe its cuz there's a tiger in our hotel room, which incidentally is completely destroyed!" He paused, pretending to think. "Oh, no-no, wa-wa-wait! I know, maybe it's because we found a baby. A human baby. That's it…That's it. It's because we found a _fucking baby_!" He angrily turned to Alan, glaring at the infant.

"I don't think you should curse around the child." Alan replied, turning to Stu.

"Really? I don't think you should BE around the child!" Stu really needed to calm down. The elevator opened and an old woman entered. She smiled.

"Oh, how cute! What's his name?" She looked up at Alan. After an awkward moment of silence Phil decided to answer.

"Ben." He said softly.

"Carlos." Alan corrected.

"Carlos?" Phil murmured. The woman looked very confused. To diminish any suspicions, I decided to cover for us. I slapped Phil's chest.

"Phil! I can't believe you forgot you're nephew's name! You're a horrible uncle!" I fake glared at him. He looked confused for a second before understanding.

"Oh, sorry. I've never been very good with names," He smirked and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling my body towards his. "Thanks for being a good aunt and reminding me." He smirked down at me. I scowled and waited until the elevator opened again.

* * *

Alan, Phil, and I were currently seated at a table by the pool. I was next to Alan and across from Phil. Phil had ordered a hot dog to eat and Alan was busy playing with the baby.

"Hey, Phil, Katy. Look. He's jackin' his little weenus," Alan grinned while moving the baby's hand, making it look like he was masturbating.

"Pull yourself together, man," Phil laughed. I rolled my eyes and lightly flicked Alan's forehead.

"Not at the table, Carlos!" He continued laughing. I watched as Stu approached us. He took the only open seat; the one next to me.

"I looked everywhere. Gym, casino, front desk; nobodies seen Doug. He's not here," Stu explained, worried. He was still icing his face and he looked the worst of us all.

"He's fine! He's a grown man!" Phil tried to reason. "Seriously? Stu, you gotta calm down. Here have some juice." He picked up his glass of orange juice and placed it on the table next to Stu, who promptly vomited next to himself on the ground. Phil's eyes widened and he looked completely grossed out.

"I can't have juice right now…" he whimpered. I rubbed his back sympathetically.

"Okay, alright, listen. Let's just track this thing," Phil pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. Or was writing on a napkin? "Okay, what's the last thing we remember doing last night?"

"Well the first thing was: we were on the roof and we were having those shots of jager," Alan recalled, jabbing the ends of his sunglasses into his eyes. Stu dry heaved and coughed.

"And then we ate dinner at the Palm, right?" Phil asked.

"That's right. And then we played craps at the Hard Rock, and think Doug was there," Wow, Alan had a good memory considering the hangover.

"That sounds right… No-no-no-no. He definitely was," Phil replied, writing all this down.

"Hey, you know what, guys? I don't even remember going to dinner," Stu said angrily.

"I know. Fuck. I don't think I've ever been this hung-over," Phil leant back in frustration.

Alan laughed. "After the Hard Rock I blacked out, it was like emptiness!" Stu shot him a "Are you stupid? Just shut up!" look.

"Okay! We have up until ten p.m., so that gives us a twelve hour window of when could've lost him," Phil calculated, reading the list.

"What's this?" Alan held up something small and off-white.

"Oh my god!" Stu exclaimed, taking the mini item. "That is my tooth! Why do you have that? What else is in your pocket?" Stu accused.

"No! This is a good thing! No-no-no! Check your pockets! Check your pockets!" The tree of them checked their pants, pulling out coins and various things. "Have anything?"

"I have an ATM receipt from the Bellagio." Stu began "11:05 for… _eight-hundred dollars_! I am so _fucked_!" he yelled.

"I have a valet ticket from Caesars." Alan claimed. "Looks like we got in at 5:15 am."

"Shit, we drove last night?" Phil ran his hands through his hair.

"Drivn' drunk! Classic!" laughed Alan.

Stu glared at him and fake laughed. "Ha-ha-ha."

"I also got a cell phone?" Alan held up a red phone.

"Oh, hey! That's mine!" I grinned and snatched it from him. I flipped it open and began looking for clues.

"What's on your arm?" Alan poked at a yellow band around Phil's wrist.

"The fuck…?"

"Jesus, Phil! You were in the hospital last night!" Stu said, surprised.

Phil frowned. "I guess so, yeah."

"You okay?" Alan sounded genuinely confused.

"Yeah, Alan. I'm fine." Phil looked at him like he was retarded. No argument there…

"What the hell is going on?" Stu growled.

"Stu, Stu. This is a good thing! We have a lead now!" Phil said happily.

"Hey, Stu. Watch this." Alan said resuming the motion he was doing before on the baby. "You ever seen a baby do that?" Stu laughed and recomposed himself.

"Alan. Not cool." He shook his head.

"Who the fuck is Frank?" I asked, confused. The three of them shared my expression.

"Who?" Phil demanded.

"Frank. Some guy was texting my phone last night." I began slowly. "He's talking about how we had fun…and something about a light-up dildo…" I trailed off, looking up. Phil looked angry and Stu and Alan looked even more confused.

"What kind of 'fun'?" growled Phil.

I laughed. "You're jealous!" This time I smirked at him.

"Am not."

* * *

"So, uh, you sure you're qualified to be taking care of that baby?" Stu asked, his voice uncertain. We were in front of the hotel waiting for our car.

Alan looked at him funny, "What are you talking about; I've found a baby before," he reassured.

"You've found a baby before?" Stu asked in disbelief, eyes wide.

Alan nodded, "Yeah!"

"Where?"

"Coffee Bean," Alan claimed.

"Wait, what?" Just at that moment, Phil sauntered up and stood beside me and Alan.

"Hey Phil? Look, I don't think Doug would want us to take the Mercedes," Alan tried. He seemed to be really worried about the car.

"Relax, we'll be careful," Phil muttered.

"See, my dad is crazy about that car and he left Doug in charge-" Alan began to plead, but Phil cut him off.

"Alan! We got bigger problems here!" Phil attempted to reason with him. "Doug could be in the hospital! He could be hurt! Kay? Let's worry about the car later." Stu turned away from us and looked up at the sky. I watched his eyes widen.

"Uh, guys? Check it out," Stu whispered. He pointed at the roof. There was a mattress pierced on a statue on the roof of the hotel.

Alan asked, "Is that the mattress from Doug's room?"

"What the fuck?"

Phil walked over to a man loading up his car. "Hey, man. What's goin on here?" He pointed

"Some asshole threw his bed out the window last night," he said.

"No shit…"

"Yeah. Some guys just can't handle Vegas," he shrugged before hopping into his car.

"My god." Stu was a nervous wreck from this morning and this wasn't helping.

"It's gonna be okay, Stu," I comforted him, patting his back.

Phil shook his head. "How the hell did we manage that?" He questioned incredulously.

"Here's your car, officers," A bellhop stepped out of a police car. At first I didn't think he was talking to us.

"Ohh, god…" Stu must be getting anxiety.

"Alright. Everybody act cool," Phil whispered. "Alan, don't say a word. C'mon let's just get in and go." He ushered me forward, his hand on my butt. I hurried up and hopped into the front seat. He told the bellhop that he'd tip him on the way back and got into front. I heard a baby crying and saw that it got hit in the face with the car door.

"Ahw!" I frowned. "Poor baby!" Phil shook his head at me. "What? How would you feel if that was you?"

He rose an eyebrow at me. "It wasn't so what do I have to worry about?"

"You're a man-whore," I stuck my tongue out at him. He just grinned.

"Are my glasses okay?" Alan asked.

"Your glasses are fine, dick," Stu replied before getting into the back seat.

* * *

After driving the sidewalk to avoid traffic, we finally arrived at the hospital. We were currently sitting in a room with Phil's doctor from last night and an old man.

"Look, I already told you! You came in here with a mild concussion, some bruised ribs, no big deal. Although none of you could articulate how it happened," the doctor told us. He was giving a physical to a very wrinkly old man. I frowned and stood in between Phil and Stu.

"Do you remember how many of us were here?" Phil questioned trying to get answers.

"Uhh, I don't know. I think it was just you guys. Deficiently no baby…" He looked towards Alan, "And one other guy!" He concluded.

"That's our guy!" Stu said happily "Was he okay?"

"Yup, he was fine. Just wacked out of his mind; you all were, " he remarked, looking us over and pulling on his gloves. "You," he nodded to me while he pulled the elderly man in front of him into a standing position. "Mind standing outside?" I understood and exited the room. I leant up against the wall and waited for them to come out. When they did, the doctor went to get a folder. We followed him as he walked.

"Kay, here we go. Patient name: Phil Wenneck. 2:45am arrival. Minor concussion, like I said, some bruising, pretty standard," he began, turning the page.

"Can I take a look? I'm actually a doctor." Stu began, pointing at the folder.

"Yeah. You said that several times last night, but really you're just a dentist," the doctor retorted. Stu looked kind of pissed. "Okay," the doctor turned back to the papers, "This is interesting. Your blood-work came in this morning. Wow." He stopped by a receptionist's counter. "Found a large amount of roofalin in your system." He looked up at our confused faced. "Roofalin? Roofies? Commonly known as the date-rape drug?" He looked at us like we were stupid.

Phil laughed. "What? Are you saying I was raped last night?" He grinned, comically.

"Actually…" The doctor began to look through the papers as Phil's grin fell right off his face. He looked at us in shock, waiting for his conclusion. "I don't think so. But someone did slip you the drug. I'm not surprised you don't remember anything."

Alan began to laugh. "Doc, none of us can remember anything from last night," He began. He turned to us and asked, "Remember?"

We all disregarded his question and Phil asked, "Yeah, how could someone have drugged all of us?"

"Look I wouldn't worry about it guys. By now the stuffs out of your system. Your gonna be fine. I have to go." He turned to leave, but Stu stopped him.

"W-w-wait! Please Doctor. Is there anything else? Like something we may have been talking about? Or some place we were going?" Stu inquired desperately.

"Like Disneyland?" I asked, hopeful. Stu glared at me. The doctor shook his head, but then looked like he remembered something.

"Actually, there was something! You guys kept talking about some wedding last night," he stated.

"Yeah, no shit, our buddy Doug's getting married tomorrow," Stu growled.

"Fuck! Refund!" I yelled

"Yeah, I want the hundred back," Phil agreed, reaching for the bill.

"No-no. Easy," he waved his hands in defense. "You kept talking about some wedding you just came from at the, uh, Best Little Chapel! You guys kept say how sick the wedding was and getting all crazy about it, okay? I hope this helps, fellas, I really have to leave." He turned to leave.

"Best Little Chapel, you know where that is?" Phil asked, before his left.

He turned back around and said, "I do. It's at the corner of Get-A-Map and Fuck-Off," Stu and Phil looked extremely astonished while I laughed, "I'm a doctor, not a tour guide. Figure it out yourselves. You're big boys. And you," he pointed to me again, "You might want to get tested."

"Why?" I asked angrily.

"You're the most likely to have gotten raped. Get tested for STDs," he explained, walking away. I looked at his retreating figure heatedly.

"No!" I resisted, folding my arms. "I did _not_ get raped! My vagina doesn't hurt and I don't have any bruises. He can go to hell." I turned my head away childishly and headed for the door so we could head to the Best Little Chapel.

* * *

**AN: Thanks for the faves, alerts, and reviews! Hope you liked it!**


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